Lemonade AwardWow, I can't believe it's been over a month since I've blogged. Things have been hectic! But, first, thank you Diana from Gold to Refine for my very first Blog Award. It took me a few minutes to figure out how to add it, but there it is. Thank you for thinking of me. Since most of the blogs I read have already received it, I don't have ten blogs to give this to. But here are a few:
Thank you all for being an inspiration to me. I struggle so much raising my daughter, but reading your blogs and seeing the progress that has been made is so encouraging!
Here are the rules...
1. Copy the above logo and put it on blog or post.
2. Nominate at least 10 blogs that show attitude and/or gratitude (Those who add sweetness to life and/or inspire you by making lemonade.)
3. Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.
4. Let them know they have received this award by commenting on a post.
5. Nominate your favorites and link to this blog.
And now for an update. Butterfly has been moved to the regular second grade classroom. We had our IEP meeting which was good and bad. My hubby was happy because B is out of special ed. At the end of the meeting I asked what type of support and training for RAD was available to the teachers working with B now and in the future. The principal (who has two RADishes of her own), told me they were all familiar with the disorder, and further training was not necessary. I rephrased and suggested our therapist could come in. She again said no additional training beyond what information I have provided was necessary. I asked a few more times until I realized she wasn't backing down, and she more or less walked out of the meeting because she was late for another appointment. I was so angry. I don't know how a woman who has experienced many of the same things as me could be so rude. Obviously the special ed teacher has no idea how to handle RAD. (See the post below.) And from conversations with the social worker, I know she also is not very familiar. So, I don't know what else to do. I can't force them to understand. The new 2nd grade teacher is slightly interested but short of providing the information, I don't know what else to do forher. My only goal here is to help the teachers deal with B. If they know the right things to do, they are helping her and making their day run alot more smoothly.
At home B got better for about a week. But over the last week and a half I have been at an absolute loss. She is sneaking again. Putting shirts and shorts that she knows are off limits without Mom's approval underneath other clothes. Taking cough drops from our room. Playing with a brand new bottle of spray paint while her dad was inside grabbing something. The list goes on and on and on. And her response to everything is "Whatever. I don't care." Try to give her a consequence and she laughs in your face. I don't even know what to do - I'm at such a loss. I've dealt with the sneaking and stealing and lying before, but never with this "I don't care" attitude. It's more than I can handle. I couldn't take it anymore on Sunday, and when we got home from church and the store, she was grounded for the day, and stayed in her room. She was allowed out for meals. I'm almost certain it had zero effect on her, but I couldn't handle the attitude anymore. I figured it was safer for everyone if she was removed from the day's activities. I'm not looking forward to this week though. My hubby is back to school - he's been on spring break, so I'm completely on my own! Yuck. Not that it was that much easier with him home every night...but still. So, if anyone has any ideas on how to deal with the don't care attitude, I would be forever grateful.
In more positive news that has nothing to do with B, my hubby and I spent the weekend painting our shutters, front door, side door and garage door. The house looks amazing. I've been wanting to do it since we moved in, and the weather was so gorgeous, I just couldn't wait. Oh, and when I say "my hubby and I painted", I mean I picked out fabulous colors, spray painted one shutter, and put the first coat on the garage door. So, I am very thankful for all of his hard work, and I love coming home to my "new" house!
Oh, and my MIL called hubby yesterday. She wants to make plans for visits for now through Thanksgiving. Huh? Does anyone have an island I can escape to while I still have some sanity left?! Please?
Have an awesome week!
3 comments:
Yeah! An update!! Good to hear from you. And, you're welcome! You also nominated several blogs I read and would have nominated myself except I ran out of nomination slots. Cool!
School: all I can say is UGH!!!
Have you read "Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control" yet? If not, do it and do it now. It's one of the best and most effective models there is for therapeutic parenting...and reaching hard to reach kids. The one thing I've learned about my little darlings is that consequences don't work. Rarely do they ever make the connection between the consequence and their behavior. They need firm boundaries, yes, but when I punsih them for behavior that is really being driven by trauma, grief, loss, and fear, the only see me as the bad guy and the behavior escalates.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/DailyParentingReflections/
You may also be interested in joining the group above. I don't follow it much anymore, but I did for quite awile, especially when I was new to BCLC. Also check out http://beyondconsequences.com/ there's some great resources and articles and stuff on there that can get you started.
Thanks for the award!
i did read beyond consequences, and i've been telling myself lately that i need to read it again, because I know I'm not doing things the way they recommend in the book these days. I'm planning to tackle it again this weekend.
thanks for the reminder!
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