I have had about all I can take of our school. If I could homeschool, I would. We've been having trouble with the school all year. No one wants to listen or understand. I think part of it is they don't understand the disorder and the other part is they think they can blow us off because we're young. Unfortunately for them, at 24 I have a better understanding of how schools should work than most of their other parents. In any case, my hubby is going to school to be a teacher. I work at a university where every day I am working with teachers looking to get continuing education. My coworkers have all worked in education as teachers, principals and superintendents. So, if I don't know something I can easily find someone in my building to help.
So, one of my husband's classmates is observing in B.'s classroom this semester. Right or wrong, she gave us some information about the class, such as:
1. When she asked the teacher why B was in the classroom, she said she had no idea, she'd have to check the IEP.
2. They checked the IEP and found out it was for RAD, but the teacher "really doesn't know what that is." (Despite my numerous attempts to educate her.)
3. B is BORED. She spends half the day staring off into space.
4. B gets yelled at constantly, even though her behavior isn't any different than the rest of the kids.
On Wednesday, another student kicked a chair, and hit B in the mouth, cracking her lip open. It was NOT reported to the principal. The student received a time out and was told to apologize. Last year, B pushed a desk across the room and was suspended. Interesting. That set me off. I called the principal who said she had no idea what I was referring to, and I needed to speak with the teacher. So I left a message for the teacher, as I was told she had left for the day. I asked what actions were taking to resolve the chair issue, and also to let her know I want B out of Special Ed. She called when I was out taking a walk at work, trying to regulate myself. She said she absolutely refuses to move B to a regular classroom as her attitude is inappropriate and she is rude and not doing well, and if I read her note home for the day I would understand why.
Okay. So, I read the note. Apparently B and a classmate were making a loser sign at another girl. So she got in trouble. Later she mouthed back at the teacher. What she said I have no clue. But then she had to do spelling words. She hates spelling words. Of course, B didn't want to do it though, so she was being difficult. B told her teacher that her mom only makes her do her spelling words three times, so that is how many times she will do them. The teacher's response? Making an 8 year old dysregulated RAD kid write the words ten times EACH. Anybody want to guess how many got done? That's right - ZERO. So she sends them home for homework. Yeah right. The kid was a crazy mess by the time we got home. I could just see it in her eyes, and it broke my heart. She was supposed to go to Girl Scouts, but I couldn't take her. It felt like it would be irresponsible to take that stressed out baby and make her do anything else. So we went to the grocery store instead and she picked out a fun dinner and ice cream then went home and watched tv and cuddled. We didn't do the spelling words. I refuse to fight and push her to do something when she was that dysregulated already. I don't know if I made the right choice or not, but it was the only thing I could do.
My biggest issue with the school is that I have tried numerous times to explain B's condition to the teacher. I have called, emailed, given information, techniques on dealing with behaviors and more. But what was I told - she's fine, she's so sweet and well-behaved. She is a pleasure to have in my class. Mmm-hmm. And I said, yes right now she is, but if you let her get away with things now, you are only making things more difficult for yourself down the road. Well, here we are down the road. Things have gotten more difficult, and the teacher is ticked off because this isn't the same sweet little girl. Well surprise of all surprises! I never expected that!
I called today and requested a meeting immediately. I'm still waiting for a return call...
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4 comments:
AAAKKKKK!!!! That is me pulling my hair out and banging my head against the wall with you. I so could have written this post myself. Except for one minor detail - the grass isn't any greener on the other side.
I am so annoyed with my son's MAINSTREAM REGULAR ED teacher that I could spit. She's been nothing but rude and condescending to me all year long. First of all, she has way too many kids in her class (27.) Second, she doesn't give a rip about my son, is irritated by his often overwhelming special needs, and is more than happy to pawn him off to the resource people or anyone else she can think of just so she can get him out of her hair. She refuses to cooperate with even very minor modifications that need to be made...like getting out a shoe horn that I was willing to provide and take 20 seconds to help him put his shoe on after recess so he could play outside in boots rather than his one and only pair of shoes that we can only get through the hospital. He can tie them once they're on, but he CANNOT get his shoe on over his leg brace by himself. Nope. Sorry. If he can't do it himself, he'll have to go to the office and have the secretaries or principal help him. Consequently, he's worn his boots at recess exactly once. He'd rather have cold, wet feet than have to go to the office for help.
She has also shown up 45 minutes late and left 30 minutes early from both IEP meetings. She complains about him laughing at farts and burps and being wiggly in class, even though he is clearly classified as having emotional, cognative, and developmental dealys. She refuses to believe there is anything wrong with my son. After all, he's so sweet and perfect at school. Gag. And, if we sing Cum-ba-yah long enough, all the world's problems will be solved and everything will be perfect. She rolls her eeyes and laughs at every single bit of information I have provided or simple modification I have suggested. She thinks it's stupid for a kid to be triggered by witches (of which she herself very appropriately dressed up as for Halloween) or babies or animals or being cold and that he just needs to buck up and get over it. Um - HE CAN'T! and if you'd lived through what he has, you'd be pretty freaked out, too.
And the latest piece de reistance...she was MORE than irritated and even down right angry with me for balking at her precious tradional assignment of "parents write a love letter to your child and talk about their birth and special childhood memories and I will read all of them to the class and we'll all guess who that child is" assignment. Like my RADical and PTSD and OCD son who has a 7 year black hole in his life could handle that!! And furthermore, how dare I even suggest that assignments like this hurt more than just my son. At this age, they are way more hurtful than harmful for any kid who does't come from a stable home in which they've lived with both their bioligcal parents all their lives.
I'm so with you on if I could homeschool, I would. The thing I'm looking into and considering now, though, is seeing if I can get a 1:1 aide for him during the time he's in his regular ed classroom. It's going to take some fancy fanagling, and maybe even a few calls to the state to get it, but at this point, I think it's the solution that would work best for him.
Sorry for the return rant on my soapbox. I guess misery loves company :-)
Well, I'm the opposite of "young" but didn't have much more help at the public school. Is there any way you could look into either another district or a private school? My children have done SO much better at Catholic school because they get individualized help that doesn't have to be based on "diagnosis" or "numbers" in their catalog of federal programs. They just look the children individually and brainstorm how to help them achieve success....
And...forgive my saying so - but I didn't know anyone even HAD "special ed" rooms anymore.
Any way you could find an unemployed teacher to homeschool your child, or a mother who is already homeschooling. Perhaps your daughter is overwhelmed by that environment.
Girl, I am with you on the If I could home school I would! I just don't think I have it in me. Hugs!
You've been very quiet lately. Hope all is well!
Just wanted to let you know you've been nominated for a special award over on my blog. Come on over to claim it!
Have a great night! :-)
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