This was too funny, I just had to share. My Goddaughter's birthday party is on Saturday in Milwaukee, so we are headed North for the weekend. Back in August I suggested to my in-laws that they should meet us on Sunday for brunch or lunch. They thought it was a great idea, since they were going to be in Madison that weekend and would be driving through Milwaukee on Sunday. They were planning to attended a football game, and then stay the night in Madison. I called last night to make sure they still wanted to get together and to set a time/place.
I asked if we were still on for Sunday, and my dear mother-in-law responded, "Brie, I think we're going to pass. We just saw you guys a couple weeks ago, and we had a great time." Huh?! I didn't know what to say, obviously! I stuttered something incomprehensible, and she said "This is your weekend with Isla, and we decided it's not worth it for us to stay the weekend. The game starts earlier than we thought, so we're going to head home afterwards." I told her we wouldn't be able to see Isla on Sunday because she was having her 1 year pictures taken, and I told my SIL we would stay out of their way. So, then she says "Well, I'm sure your Grandma will enjoy the extra time with all of you. Like I said, we're just going to pass since we were all just together."
I have never in my life heard of family "passing" on spending time together! You pass on veggies or the little kid selling candy at your door - not spending time with family! I also love that she tried to make it sound like she was doing me a favor because it would give me more time with my family. She also suggested we will need to talk about getting together in October or for Thanksgiving. Ha. I think I'm going to pass.
Anyways, it was the most hilarious conversation I've had in awhile. And awkward. When Patrick got home I told him about our chat, and he was speechless. I really think he was shocked. I do feel bad for him, but I still think it is hilarious. All he could say was "I will never feel bad about them not getting to see B again."
And for a quick update on B - she is lost in constantly feeling horrible for herself. What a depressing life. She woke up this morning, and was upset that in first grade (two years ago) she didn't have a library card. ???????? And I mean severely upset and angry and just off the charts crazy about it. There was no calming her down about anything.
Oh, and on Saturday Patrick had quite a bit of homework to get through, so I took B running errands with me. I was trying to find a charm for Isla's charm bracelet, get her Halloween costume, and a couple other things. She kept saying these passive aggressive comments about me and Isla - SO frustrating. I finally had to sit her down in the mall and have a chat about what was going on and all that good stuff. We were briefly interrupted by two very classy young men stealing shoes from the shoe store we were sitting near, which is always lovely for a young child to see. Anyways, she improved after our chat and we went on about our day. She chose a Halloween costume - an egypshe as she said. To the rest of us, a gypsy.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Pictures!
Today is Butterfly's 9th Birthday. Happy Birthday! She has had a rough morning, and I don't have a lot of confidence in her improving for tonight. In any case, I wanted to share some pictures from her Willy Wonka birthday this weekend with you! Here they are!
Wonka's Contract.
Lollipops.
Wonkavision Goggles.
Game time! Hot potato with a Wonka Golden Goose Egg!
Musical Lollipops!
The girls in their Wonkavision Goggles!
The Birthday Girl.
Enjoying their treats.
The invitations.
Wonka's Contract.
Lollipops.
Wonkavision Goggles.
Game time! Hot potato with a Wonka Golden Goose Egg!
Musical Lollipops!
The girls in their Wonkavision Goggles!
The Birthday Girl.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Birthdays and In-Laws
I have never been happier for Monday morning. The past couple weeks have been almost unbearable. Butterfly has been in a mood because of school (my last post) and the fact that her birthday is coming up. Everything has been a fight, and no amount of loving parenting has helped. In fact, most times it made it worse. Hard as I try, I can't tell you what all the triggers have been, and I'd probably just be guessing if I did, so we won't go there.
My in-laws flew in late Friday night for Butterfly's birthday parties. We didn't tell her until after school on Friday. We decided it was a lose-lose situation - if we didn't tell her she would be angry that they weren't coming. If we did tell her early she would be a wreck trying to figure out how to hide her RAD while they were here. She didn't see them until Saturday morning, as she was asleep when they got in. Patrick had a certification test early that morning, so he wasn't around. When I woke up (with my first pounding tension headache since July) I could hear my little darling putting on her "I'm a fabulous adult, love me, love me" show for her grandparents. I called her in and had a little chat about feeling safe with them and the show she puts on. If it continued I promised I would have everyone sit down and we would all talk about her RAD and feeling safe. That put a stop to it.
The in-laws and Patrick took B to the zoo for the afternoon, so I could have the house to myself to prep for the party that evening. Everything went well - she was well-behaved for the most part, so I can't complain. My dad pointed out though how strategically she chose to open gifts. My best friend Lisa had to leave to get to another party, so B opened her gift first. After Lisa left, B put on a little act about oh, who is this from? So, first she opened the gifts that she thought were from her Green Bay grandparents - then she opened from us, then from my parents. There was something very strange and methodical about how she did it...I'm not sure why. Anyways, she gave her half-hearted thank you hugs to her GB GPs and then gave her hugs to me and Patrick, then for one second couldn't help herself and let down her guard (when all her grandparents are together she tries very hard not to show any favoritism among them. it's interesting to see a child be so incredibly aware of everything.) - she hopped on my dad's lap and snuggled and hugged him and same with my mom. It was completely genuine, not an ounce of manipulation. But then she realized what she did and went right back to trying not to show any favoritism. Funny kid.
Sunday was a party with her friends. I never realized how mean and inappropriate third grade girls could be. I was not impressed all but a couple completely lack respect and manners. It's so sad. No wonder Butterfly thinks I'm so strict. None of the other parents enforce anything with their kids. This was our last friend party. I've already told Patrick and my mom that next year when I get ready to plan the party to remind me that I'm not doing it. It is far too much for her to handle, not to mention the stress I put myself through. So family party and then done. The party was fun though, don't get me wrong. We had a Willy Wonka theme - I will post pictures this week.
After the party it was just horrendous. B was so worked up by everything - she was screaming, yelling, hitting, crying, etc. It must have been hard to hide all that while her GB GPs were in town. She took a nap and went to bed early - she was a tired girl for sure.
No issues to report with my in-laws. Every time my mom or I tried to say something about Butterfly's RAD or her behaviors, she would not acknowledge it. Just answer with a Mmm-hmm or that must be hard. Never a word more. As my mom said, if she acknowledges it then it becomes her problem too, and part of her life that she has to deal with. As long as she pretends it doesn't exist she can just go on with her life, and she certainly doesn't want this minor detail to get in the way of her life. Oh well.
So it's over, and we can move on. Butterfly's actual birthday is on Thursday. Patrick has class and I have a parents meeting for Girl Scouts, so I'm not sure how we will celebrate. Maybe a quick dinner out before the meeting...
Oh, and in good news. We got some relaxation last weekend because B went camping with the Girl Scouts. They left Saturday morning and were back Monday afternoon. Patrick and I were able to make a ton of progress getting the house cleaned and organized, we went out to eat and saw two movies, did some shopping, and he made his very first trip to Build-a-bear to make puppies for our niece and nephew. It was so relaxing, and such a great reminder that there is life outside of RAD, which we usually tend to forget.
B had an uneventful morning. She did what she told, and there was no screaming, yelling or arguing. Hopefully now that the birthday stress is behind her, she can move on. Fingers crossed!
My in-laws flew in late Friday night for Butterfly's birthday parties. We didn't tell her until after school on Friday. We decided it was a lose-lose situation - if we didn't tell her she would be angry that they weren't coming. If we did tell her early she would be a wreck trying to figure out how to hide her RAD while they were here. She didn't see them until Saturday morning, as she was asleep when they got in. Patrick had a certification test early that morning, so he wasn't around. When I woke up (with my first pounding tension headache since July) I could hear my little darling putting on her "I'm a fabulous adult, love me, love me" show for her grandparents. I called her in and had a little chat about feeling safe with them and the show she puts on. If it continued I promised I would have everyone sit down and we would all talk about her RAD and feeling safe. That put a stop to it.
The in-laws and Patrick took B to the zoo for the afternoon, so I could have the house to myself to prep for the party that evening. Everything went well - she was well-behaved for the most part, so I can't complain. My dad pointed out though how strategically she chose to open gifts. My best friend Lisa had to leave to get to another party, so B opened her gift first. After Lisa left, B put on a little act about oh, who is this from? So, first she opened the gifts that she thought were from her Green Bay grandparents - then she opened from us, then from my parents. There was something very strange and methodical about how she did it...I'm not sure why. Anyways, she gave her half-hearted thank you hugs to her GB GPs and then gave her hugs to me and Patrick, then for one second couldn't help herself and let down her guard (when all her grandparents are together she tries very hard not to show any favoritism among them. it's interesting to see a child be so incredibly aware of everything.) - she hopped on my dad's lap and snuggled and hugged him and same with my mom. It was completely genuine, not an ounce of manipulation. But then she realized what she did and went right back to trying not to show any favoritism. Funny kid.
Sunday was a party with her friends. I never realized how mean and inappropriate third grade girls could be. I was not impressed all but a couple completely lack respect and manners. It's so sad. No wonder Butterfly thinks I'm so strict. None of the other parents enforce anything with their kids. This was our last friend party. I've already told Patrick and my mom that next year when I get ready to plan the party to remind me that I'm not doing it. It is far too much for her to handle, not to mention the stress I put myself through. So family party and then done. The party was fun though, don't get me wrong. We had a Willy Wonka theme - I will post pictures this week.
After the party it was just horrendous. B was so worked up by everything - she was screaming, yelling, hitting, crying, etc. It must have been hard to hide all that while her GB GPs were in town. She took a nap and went to bed early - she was a tired girl for sure.
No issues to report with my in-laws. Every time my mom or I tried to say something about Butterfly's RAD or her behaviors, she would not acknowledge it. Just answer with a Mmm-hmm or that must be hard. Never a word more. As my mom said, if she acknowledges it then it becomes her problem too, and part of her life that she has to deal with. As long as she pretends it doesn't exist she can just go on with her life, and she certainly doesn't want this minor detail to get in the way of her life. Oh well.
So it's over, and we can move on. Butterfly's actual birthday is on Thursday. Patrick has class and I have a parents meeting for Girl Scouts, so I'm not sure how we will celebrate. Maybe a quick dinner out before the meeting...
Oh, and in good news. We got some relaxation last weekend because B went camping with the Girl Scouts. They left Saturday morning and were back Monday afternoon. Patrick and I were able to make a ton of progress getting the house cleaned and organized, we went out to eat and saw two movies, did some shopping, and he made his very first trip to Build-a-bear to make puppies for our niece and nephew. It was so relaxing, and such a great reminder that there is life outside of RAD, which we usually tend to forget.
B had an uneventful morning. She did what she told, and there was no screaming, yelling or arguing. Hopefully now that the birthday stress is behind her, she can move on. Fingers crossed!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Duh!
Ever have one of those days where you feel like you totally missed the boat and don't get RAD at all? I had one yesterday, and boy do I feel silly today. Butterfly has been a royal pain in the behind all week, and I had no real knowledge of why. Here I am blaming Isla Shay, birthday's, etc. and while I am certain those all played a role, I missed the two giant blinking signs telling me what the real problem was. (Because of course, she would never tell me.) So here it is, and feel free to tell me how stupid I am for missing it because I feel 100% ridiculous...
Duh! Number One: They are talking about divorce in Health class...why did her birth mom leave? Oh! Divorce!
Duh! Number Two: This is the big one...they are creating a "Me Box" to present (due today). It must include their personal favorites, people that are important to them, and three special items. Well, Captain Obvious here has been working on this project with her all week, and never saw a problem. I didn't even see a problem when she selected her important people ; Mommy, Daddy, Grandma, Grandpa, Yadi, Isla Shay, Uncle Reggie (my parent's dog that passed away last year), and her birth mom. I was just impressed that she wanted to talk about her BM at school. But I happily went along with it and helped her write her sentences about why she's important. Never did it occur to me that the child is flipped out about having to talk about her BM to her class. But she told my mom last night, otherwise I still would be totally oblivious...
Apparently my head hasn't been on straight this week...I feel silly. So I called the teacher this morning to give her a heads up on why Butterfly was out of sorts. I also asked if B was presenting today - No she won't present until next week. Hahaha. That wasn't going to fly! I politely asked if she would make sure she does it today so she can put it behind her and move on to bigger and better things. Luckily, she obliged, and will be emailing me to let me know how it goes. I'm nervous for her, but hoping she does okay. I think I fail being a good RAD Mom this week.
Anyways, I thought I would share a couple pictures, since I never post any!
Butterfly and Yadi
Duh! Number One: They are talking about divorce in Health class...why did her birth mom leave? Oh! Divorce!
Duh! Number Two: This is the big one...they are creating a "Me Box" to present (due today). It must include their personal favorites, people that are important to them, and three special items. Well, Captain Obvious here has been working on this project with her all week, and never saw a problem. I didn't even see a problem when she selected her important people ; Mommy, Daddy, Grandma, Grandpa, Yadi, Isla Shay, Uncle Reggie (my parent's dog that passed away last year), and her birth mom. I was just impressed that she wanted to talk about her BM at school. But I happily went along with it and helped her write her sentences about why she's important. Never did it occur to me that the child is flipped out about having to talk about her BM to her class. But she told my mom last night, otherwise I still would be totally oblivious...
Apparently my head hasn't been on straight this week...I feel silly. So I called the teacher this morning to give her a heads up on why Butterfly was out of sorts. I also asked if B was presenting today - No she won't present until next week. Hahaha. That wasn't going to fly! I politely asked if she would make sure she does it today so she can put it behind her and move on to bigger and better things. Luckily, she obliged, and will be emailing me to let me know how it goes. I'm nervous for her, but hoping she does okay. I think I fail being a good RAD Mom this week.
Anyways, I thought I would share a couple pictures, since I never post any!
Butterfly and Yadi
Yadi when he was still tiny and cute.
Me, and my goddaughter, Isla Shay
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